This post is dedicated to all the “Irrigidiocy” I come across in my day.

Someone forgot to remove jumper wire in sensor terminal- I wonder why the rain sensor doesn’t work?

UNSERVICABLE VALVEThanks, rookie sprinkler guy. I need to take apart that valve on the left. Any suggestions on how I get my drill or screwdriver on those screws?

 

NO BACKFLOW PREVENTER

This is a lazy point of connection that doesn’t meet code. It took me forever to find this hidden shut-off valve. (That round six pointed red handle there)  No backflow preventer, which is required by law to keep the drinking water safe from back siphoned sprinkler water contaminated by all things icky. On the criminal scale I put this sprinkler guy somewhere between Ted Bundy and Hitler.

NO SHUT OFF AT ALL

I admire this person’s confidence that nothing will ever go wrong, ever, therefore no need for a shut-off valve.

OVERTIGHTENED FITTING

Look at this idiot muscle man’s work. There’s no reason to tighten a fitting so far that no threads are visible. Threaded pipe fittings are slightly wedge shaped- they gradually snug tighter at every turn. Use a few wraps of teflon, a dab of dope- if you’re a belt-and-suspenders type person, and tighten until snug enough just past hand-tight. No reason to reef on it with channel-locks like the teethmarks shown here.

 

WORST CONTROLLER LOCATION I’VE SEEN.

This photo is from one of my other posts, but merits a special honor here. Whoever installed this controller hated themselves, or sprinkler guys, or were in a hurry to meet their drug dealer.

GARBAGE IN THE HOLENothing more  annoying than making a repair and unearthing the previous lazy sprinkler guy’s pipe garbage. A definite no-no in my book. Sometimes bigger chunks of pipe will lead you on a wild goose chase, only to find they’re not connected to anything.

CRIMINAL MISUSE OF ELECTRICAL TAPESome crazed person mummified these control wires up to the grease nuts obscuring all the colored insulation. I had to unwrap what seemed to be a full roll of tape to separate the conductors and troubleshoot. Wholly unnecessary, people. Use electrical tape to fix shaved insulation where bare copper wire is exposed, otherwise leave it alone!

THESE VALVES’ ETERNAL RESTING PLACEThis cherry tree root owns this valve box. I wont be the one to dig it up if needed. Someone with a backhoe will.

ANNOYING INSULATION

I don’t go to where you work and pile a bunch of garbage on your desk. I know the intentions displayed here were noble, but unnecessary. Chapter 10 of the plumbing code requires 12 inches of clearance around the backflow preventer. According to the code, “The requirement does not affect the function. The requirement exists for the technician’s benefit. Adequate clearance must be provided to replace assembly components.”

Isn’t that cool that they would write into code a lovely phrase like ‘technician’s benefit’? Aw. So- keep your double check nice and clear. Have it winterized by a pro sprinkler guy and you wont need to insulate. This nasty stuff you put in the valve box gets all slimy and buggy and seems like some nasty crime scene. It makes servicing your system every year a real pain.  See http://www.cityraininc.com/mole-guard/

I should have a separate post called Sprinkler Hall Of Fame. This here is what I call a class act. Courtesy of the guys at Soundview Irrigation:Oh la la!

 

THANKS PAVER GUY

Gee, I’d like to straighten that pop up but, uh, I’ll need a jackhammer.

 

CROWDED VALVE BOX

Jeeze guy, just spring for another valve box. See that double check on the right? How am I supposed to work on that thing? You can probably tell by now most of my complaints are about lousy valve box setups.